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Available here:

http://leahkaminsky.wordpress.com/

Blogging! Huzzah!

Re-enactment of this week's Lost- WARNING SPOILER ALERT

Richard: I can take him, but he'll turn into a mini-Hitler, except smarter, more energetic, and with creepy glasses.

Kid Benjamin Linus: Groooooan.

Richard: Or you can take him back and hope Jack hasn't stopped being the ONLY ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES NOT ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT.

Kate: Richard, before I boarded Oceanic Flight 815, I was directionless, forced into a criminal's life by a one-dimensional stereotype of an abusive hick father, who I subsequently exploded in a firey gas ball. Then I realized, "Wait a second, I'm a woman. OMG is that a BABY?!" Using my new estrogen super powers, I have evaluated your statement and decided that, despite the painful obviousness of this plan's problems, I would like to make the stupidest decision of my life, subsequently sealing the fate of all my fellow survivors.

Miles: THERE IS NO SEALING TO BE DONE. YOUR FATES ARE ALREADY DECIDED.

Hurley: I'm meeeeelting!

Sawyer: I'm going to stand here with an expression on my face that says, "I'm from the future and can confirm the validity of Richard's statement, but Kate is really hot and I don't want to jeopardize my chances of getting back in there."

Juliette: You go Kate! I, too, am delusional, and will stand here squinting my eyes empathetically and talking in low tones between long bitching about being a crap doctor.

Jack: So I was thinking about growing out my beard again.

Kid Benjamin Linus: GROOOOOOAN.

Richard: I'm feeling overwhelmed by the sheer bulk of your cast. It's time to kill someone off again soon, like that pissed off English girl with the red hair, or that female police officer who couldn't act for shit. So, save Future Kid Stalin or not?

Kate: SAVE HIM AND FEEL THE POWER OF MY OVARY-DOMINATED DECISION!

Richard: Goddammit, now I have to schlep this asshole down to the stone lair and deal with that creepy, child-molesting Jacob guy.

John Locke: CREEPY SMILE.

LOST.

My Future PhD

So today there was this guy in my comparative literature class who gave a power presentation. This was his header:

Presentation Title
Student Name
Course: CLIT 491

As one of maybe five graduate students in the entire class, it was like... really hard not to laugh.

Then I went to the comparative literature course page tonight and it turns out they really do abbreviate it C LIT, though they do leave a space between the C and the LIT.

All I can say is...

One day, I may get a PhD in CLIT. And then I'll be: Leah Kaminsky: CLIT Doctor

I can't wait until the future.

What is wrong with Italy?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7284134.stm

Do gays lack the rights that heterosexuals enjoy?

So asked the California Supreme yesterday in their landmark gay marriage case:

http://www.usnews.com/articles/news/national/2008/03/05/gay-marriage-the-impact-of-the-california-case.html

Also on the docket:

Was slavery unfair to black people?

Were Jews really killed in the Holocaust?

And does New Zealand actually exist, or is Jemaine Clement just a sexily awkward figment of my imagination?

Within the year, we should have an answer. Thanks, CA.

Are you ugly? Dot com.

I'm having a low self-confidence day. In my gmail account, I write an email to a friend, questioning my attractiveness.

My friend signs off gchat.

Google adsense responds:

"Are you ugly? www.Are-You-Ugly.com- Just an Average Joe? Find Out, Take the Quiz!"

Thanks for stepping up to the plate, Google adsense.

NO GAYS!!!!

Okay, so every time I publish one of these profiles I say it's the best one I've ever seen, but seriously, this is one of the best profiles I've ever seen. Just so hilarious. Just... read it.

Random guy's profile:


just gonna write English, I understand it´s not just israeli site. I am honest guy, I like to have a good time with my friends, I love my family and hate liars and fools thats think they are smart! I like travelling, every year I try to get to another place but not always I have a posibility to do it. I would like to add that all of these pictures took my friend, he is professional photographer, so just take it into account, may be these pictures are too good. It's not my merit, this is just a good photographer job. Girls, some of you already tryed to send me a message but I didn't answer and I won´t answer if you just talk to me with out say hi. This is disturbing me. If you just begin to talk with to say hi I won´t answer.... I don't really know what to write here, so lets stop. GAYS, PLEASE DON´T BOTHER ME OK?? I DONT´T HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH YOU.

Blossoming Love

The best first JDate email I've ever gotten:

Hello.

I've read your profile, and it seems you may be the woman I look for.
If you'll like my profile and photos then you may be interested in answering a short quiz. :)
See it below.

Please, consider me and my message seriously!
You are not an accindental profile on dating site. I search a woman of your type for a long time.
And I can say that such women are very very rare.
(You may see it, if, for example, you'll try to search on this site all women who are similar to you in all details.
You'll find no more than several dozens in the whole world.)

I don't want to lose one chance in a million due to some accidental whim.
Don't forget, dating is a very very serious thing. :)

(Sorry if my English looks slightly clumsy. It's not my native language.)

=============

Quiz:

1. Put the following items in the order of their significance in your life.
From the most important to the least important.
(Now they are sorted in the alphabetical order.)

a) arts, all kinds of arts
b) family
c) friends
d) money
e) self-knowledge, exploration of the world, religion, philosophy
f) sex

2. Tell me in details about 2 most important items from the list above.

3. What are your plans for the next 5, 10, and 25 years?

=============

Thanks and good luck!
Waiting for your answers. :)

If I'm not a man you look for, I would be very grateful to you if you'll forward my contacts to some of your girl-friends who may think in another way.
(Certainly they must be so smart and attractive as you are. As I told earlier you are very very rare type of woman.)

Boobs

The guy next to me at the library gets a call on his cell phone. "Hi Amanda," he says. "Sorry for my message earlier. I know it was a bit discomboobulated or whatever."

Boobs.

Hi again!

So I know I haven't posted in forever, but that's because I've relocated to another part of the world. I'll be traveling around for a year, so read that blog intead because it's more interesting. Read it here, chilluns:

http://leahlugscrap.blogspot.com/

And please do read it and comment so I feel like I have friends while I wander the world by myself!

Whenceforth shalth I liveth?

So I’ve been looking for flats for my move to London for weeks now, and I thought I’d share with you all some of the best street names:


Cockfosters, where cock is fostered
Tooting Bec, where my good friend Bec enjoyed tooting
Shoot Up Hill, where cowboys shot heroine addicts at will
John Ruskin Lane, where my true life friend Jon Ruskin would like me to live

And who can forget last summer, when I worked just off of Blue Balls Lane?

With so many choices, what should I choose? Cock? Tooting? Shooting? My friend Jon? Or a sexual dry spell?

Votes, anyone?

Today’s Emotional State: I feel like I’m living on all those roads NOOOOOW